Jul 2003 
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More from Bugsy

Sinspiration.

That's a good laugh,

Time for the bug to fly.

"yer the s___, s___, s___,"

No kidding...give me a hit,

This rhyming game's a great craft.

And it takes a note like that to git, git, git,

Lib it up, life is definately worth libbing.

Selfish, selfish people, but can we help it.

There is something at the bottom of the lens.

I may have slipped but at least my feat are still on.

Despite the higher level students still lack appreciation and love, they complain...but this is truly a wonderful and amazing place...for once think of the knowledge that exists and not the beer.

Light up the sky.

Protect your children...a great father in the making.

A good day for cake, for berries, for bocce, for burgers, for naps, for walks in the evening.

Shoes in the alley, flying down to cali, we're lacing them up, all before they corrupt...you, rocking this side of swing, catching a ride in my benz gullwing, not enough to scuff this soul i'm sliding, burning coal and our minds colliding, sipping this summer breeze, kissing my hummers knees, dancing with the devil, prancing hearts on an anvil, lush and tall crushing your all, can you handle that, or do you tattle on that cat, talking into my pillow, walking beneath old willow, a tree for your blessing and a fee for you caressing, you're peddling in my direction, heading for my connection, down to the earth, frown twice upon your birth, stand above my grave hand along my brave...heart as a start to the rest of the world, like a pest all but curled in the foot of your bed, it feels like soot spewing from your head, the weight of lead, the wait of time, rolled into luscious rhymes, cold like the story you tell, and lies you sell, you're meeting your fiance, cheating on beyonce, speak on that, leak on that, you've got nothing now, the louvre's got something now, art became of your death, tasting tart and mary beth, she says it's criminal, he says it's original, sam that is, knowing absurd, blowing the word, across the table, a moss of fables, sitting at your chair, knitting your hair, fibs rest on your lips, ribs rest on your hips, here in cali, beer in the alley, empty shoes singing your hidden blues.

Rolling with the wind.

Let it rain, then i can take a picture.

I concur.

Life is good, contemplate that punk.

What are we working for. what common battle are we battling. we need a common cause. we need something sincere. they're there. progress can be made with a little collaboration. ww2. great depression. cival war. in touch with the history. keeping in mind where my grandfather was, and his grandfather, and so on.

Praying for some relief.

God answers, relief is here, all at the surface of paper, some colored ink, and some green ink. thankul.

Thankful or "thank you".

What's my biggest challenge.

Righteous vs. truth, bring in morality

A logical statement after eight days of logical teachings, either i didn't learn, or i learned, God knows.

Essentially that says that jesus is not a role model, but he is, so can't a person be a role model without making mistakes. and i've made mistakes. am i a role model.

A wise man is one who knows that he knows nothing, a man aware of his ignorance, this has been preached for a long time, so is it possible that over time a person could say he's aware of his ignorance when he really isn't and is hence ignorant. where does a person understand that he is ignorant. after searching and searching at a deep level and not finding a sign of that, where does one truly know. it's like a battlefield. all of the enemies on the battlefield are dead. they may think they won, but they don't know what is going on in other battlefields, and they keep searching and find not other battles, but one could be happening in the place they last were. but isn't this actually knowing you don't know in the first place. this is an ongoing circle and to realize that a person can at least look across the circle to the other side because the shape of it is known. knowing that it's a circle a person could even turn around and walk the other direction meeting things new that could have been following him all along. by mixing it up from time to time he's finding out more and more.

Cuban human.

Life...it's a work in progress.

Don't define yourself by a couple minor aspects, this is why sin is all judged at the same level, one cannot define himself by the virture of a few things, the panoramic must be taken into account. there is more to a scene than what can be seen.

I'm on the move, playing my latest of groves...i'm i'm the grove, playing my latest of moves.

We are all equal...not because of yesterday, not because of today, ...but becasue of tomorrow.

My heart turns over...i'm lonely.

My body turns over...i'm sleeping.

My stomach turns over...i'm hungry.

Always have something beautiful around to heal the eyes.

I want to see chics with weapons...guitars, banjos, pianos, drums, accordians, and harmonicas.

Dip your toes into some wisdom.

The summer's theme.

I don't want to just connect the dots...i want to be an entire new dot on the map.

The most complete feeling of helplessness with all inspirations geared toward comfort and love

What a small world...well maybe not, just a really big world with a whole lot of possibilities.

In twenty four hours and plus a few my heart has traveled the world three times.

I'm up in arms. over life. over death. over love. then all the little things that tie them together. sometimes as soft as a feather. sometimes as hard as oak. always break away from the choke. always make your way for the most. you can't waste your time and boast. you can pace your time and pray.

I may frown upon myself, but i will always smile upon you.

I often say, "much peace, much love." tonight i add to this. much life!

The brain vs. the body. wake up in the morning...run a few miles...do some arobics, it's on t.v. and eat some fruit and some veggies. but what about the brain? what about excersizing the brain? how about taking up a new language? howa bout reading some philosophy? howa bout stepping outside our box? how about thinking of beliefs we've always denied? what about expanding our knowledge? so much emphasis on expanding the body...but no emphasis on expanding the mind. is it not as important? couldn't the brain be more important? the mind should be greater priority than the body. many people will not take this in. but why not take it all in? there's something to be learned. an active mind can bring health just as much as a healthy body. a person with an active mind is less likely to attract alzheimer's for example. c'mon...it's the brain! the mind! our thoughts! think a little more. read a little more. write a little more. who knows what could come out of it. ahhh...whatever. you know what...it's just a thought...just a thought.

Sobbing. it's one thing for that...but on this side of it i want no trouble. just peace and all.

To earn loving respect.

I looked a fool in the eye, over and over and over again.

Do i love through the pain?

Breathe easy, take deep breaths.

Smile on...but don't hide behind it.

Knowing is the way of the world...not knowing is the

As of now i've spilled everything out of my glass, it's refill time.

The notorious b.u.g.

Hug me. hold me. kiss me.

Might not find forgiveness. live with the consequences. deserved this fool. now it's only up to love, faith, and hope....of which the greatest of these is love.

She's my sweet honey bunches of love cluster.

Everyone wants peace...but no one is willing to put down their gun.

Profess something.

I believe your love.

I'm taking a shower and always bring the phone in with me, and it doesn't matter what part of the shower, if it rings the water is off and i'm soaking wet naked pushing the talk button and hoping, only to find out it's a telemarketer.

The heart doesn't lie, the mind lies.

Hey me, shutup and open your ears and your heart, close your eyes and mouth fool.

I had it in my hands. it was boiling in pans. i was washing my face with it. i was dancing beneath it under the stars. when turned the other direction, when my legs went limp, when my knees buckled. when i feel to the floor. how i wish it was different. how does my fate disappear. how obscure does a faith become. how surreal is love when it's gone. sipping out of teacups. peeking in on tomorrow. seeking out everything i can't reach. one who fathoms. one who ponders. one who is and just that. the cat got hit by a car. i'm on the ground. no pain. no scars. no sores. there's a sky above me. nothing but hard ground behind me. there's no choice of which way to go.

If you're listening sour and sweets...

I will be laying in bed soon. my blanket will be (y)our love. my mind will be full of beautiful thoughts of you. my arms will be full with stitch, kit-kat-lady-girl, and mistletoe. i will kiss my favorite picture of you. i will think of you long into the night, with passion, longing, and love. i'll think of you whispering in my ear. i'll think of running fingers through your hair. my whispers tracing through your ears. my eyes locked on your beauty. it's gripping. our bodies close, not even air can leak through. warm. cozy. smiles written across our faces. thinking there you are so pure and sweet. tender and strong. adoring and caring. striking in your expressions. holding you in my arms tonight. holding you in my heart tonight. loving you in my arms tonight. loving you in my heart tonight. xo.

Hope.

National hug day.

I'm a cheeseball, please be my cracker.

Well i was awake. that was late lastnight. and two flowers later i'm dead. so shoot me. i lay at the bottom of the cliff. not only that...the one who was on my team stepped on my last finger.

I'm awake love, i'm awake, i'm here loving you. wherever you may be. whatever crosses your mind. i do not know what they are. it has been long. my heart has been full and longing for more. as my heart overflows i will preserve that love and develop it in new and unique ways altogether. all of my longings. all of my care. all of my love. tomorrow will be here soon. i will rise in the morning, an early sunday morning, perhaps i'll go for a walk. perhaps i'll take an afternoon nap. my soul will be the change i hope to see. i too am eager of these dreams. it is not by chance, it is not by luck. it is destiny. at stake is the one thing i don't want to lose. i'm hanging from a cliff, there's only a couple fingers left. with the mistakes i made i'm not sure if that's enough strength to lift the damage i have done. i don't know if anyone is coming. i can't see up over the edge. but if i close my eyes, if i dig deep into my soul, deep into my spirit, deep into my heart, i find great faith that help is on the way. as for the time being i must be strong. i must hold my own. i must not slip again.

Anxiousness.

Think about what you could have lost.

The lesson of truth, morality, talking, patience, and faith. thank you. this is indeed valuable for life.

My heart beats out of joy. my heart beats for right reasons. my skin and legs quiver and shake for the right reason. my heart runs at full capacity...on a full tank. back to the roots. back to the clean summer grass. back to the frame of mind. ease...i'm at ease. shivers run through my body thanks to God and the beautiful angels. i can sleep in peace. i can live in peace. my heart beats on. it's not the last straw, only one more straw to choose from. from this day on. and let the bells ring.

Underestimated.

Every fire dies out in time, but there is only one person who can put it out.

My pants are baggier. my heart is full. my body is alone. i'm taking the semester off.

I'm in a concealed room and the water is rising. ...anyone?

Push him out of the circle. he is worthless. let him wither away and die. let him suffer. we don't care about him. we don't care about his love. we don't care about his life. don't let him in. we hear you. but we don't care. the sooner you're gone the better.

I'm in a gas chamber dying. will anyone come turn off the gas? will anyone go out of their way? i cannot turn off the gas, but there is a gun in the room. the pain and suffering will only increase. how long can i wait for someont to hear me? how much longer can i bare these pains. there's the gun, it could be over like that. i refuse to use it. i will suffer until my death. painfully weaping for someone to turn off that gas...or else...i will die. is anyone there? does anyone see my suffering.? anyone?

I'm left here, just body, mind, and heart. my soul and spirit have been torn out of me. so the rest, body, heart, and mind are merely left to suffer. perhaps my soul is already in God's hands. and when i sleep i'll dream of it and be at home. this summer everything has been falling down on me. I feel like i'm in the basement of a building that's about to collapse. nobody knows i'm there. i'm trapped. everyone is on the outside watching it come down piece after piece. little do they know is that there's a living being trapped at the bottom. and then this most unfortunate accident. the building crashes down. at some point the building had to come down. i'm buried. soon everyone will be walking away. days later they will come clean the mess. they will come across my dead body. they will now be in shock, in sorrow. this is what it takes. i was telling and screaming for help but nobody was listening. or, perhaps they will never come across my dead body. they will all go on in their lives. they will forget about the life that was once known as bugsy. they will never know the passion and love i had. i'll be a forgotten soul. out of God's beauty and love someday when my lover is old and frail...wrinkles, white hair, slow, fragile...she will be walking to the old stomping grounds, there will be this large red rose growing in the center of it. that was the soul everyone forgot about. the one who died. maybe then through God's grace that will be a chance that i'm remembered. so here i am today. trapped. will anyone hear my voice? will anyone step close to me? will anyone?